It may surprise some to know that, after losing both of my children by age 50, I am still able to embrace Mother's Day each spring. Although I cannot speak for other mothers who find themselves separated from their children through death, what I can do is offer a few of my own words in the spirit of sharing for the benefit of all who need to hear them.
While I will not pretend that every Mother's Day is joyful, I can tell you that I am able to find moments within each one to sit in quiet gratitude for being blessed with the experience of being a mother. Even when sorrow visits, I can be thankful at the same time that my children chose me as their mother and grateful for the time I was gifted with each of them. How can I not, with so many out there who will never be graced with even a single day of motherhood in their own lifetime?
Each time the holiday rolls around I encounter people who do not know what to say to me and those like me. I can feel it in their energy field....the timid, almost apologetic "Happy Mother's Day" sentiments and even, from some, an uncomfortable silence as they decide that it would be best not to deliver that sentiment to a childless mother. I'm not sure what it is they are feeling that directs their actions. Perhaps they think it best for us to 'forget' about our past roles as mothers and do not want to be the ones to force us to remember....as if we could do anything BUT remember our kids on Mother's Day.
Since I live with a strong faith in the existence of the soul and it's consciousness after death, I still feel a very real and strong connection to both of my deceased children. I have learned to recognize their presence and always receive a sign of some sort from one or both of them on Mother's Day. Because of this I am actually able to look forward to Mother's Day and even have a lot of fun anticipating the sign(s) that are sure to arrive. Any of you who knew my kids in this life would nod your head with recognition when I say that those signs tend to be drenched in sarcastic humor of some sort! Often times leaving me grinning from ear to ear at the 'joke that no one else gets'.
"...it triggers my own special memories and allows me to languish in that
special feeling even for just a moment.... and this I consider a gift!"
I also enjoy watching all of you lovely mothers out there receiving your own Mother's Day blessings and much earned adoration from your offspring. Really, you do not have to hide this from me. Share your stories with me and do not hold back your own pride as you relay the precious things your little ones made or did for you on Mother's Day. Does it bring up memories of my own children when they were little? YES! Yes, it does and that is exactly the point! When I hear about the silly breakfast your kids brought you in bed or the prickly weeds your toddler picked for you from the back yard, it triggers my own special memories and allows me to languish in that special feeling even for just a moment.... and this I consider a gift!
So don't pretend my children never existed....
If you really want to do something special for me, include me in your discussions...ask me about my own children. I'd love to swap stories with you! I know this makes most uncomfortable but by talking about it openly we begin to break down the wall of silence that has served as a barrier to keep childless mothers in a dark and lonely place on holidays like Mother's Day. Why not talk about this very large elephant in the room? Your acceptance of our loss actually serves to help us in our own healing. Sweeping things under the rug, ignoring and/or changing the subject only feeds the darker emotions like sorrow and loneliness so please, offer light this year to a childless mother....celebrate their motherhood right along with you and your other girlfriends.
Blessings,
Vicky
*** For more of 'my story' click HERE
>> Click below to read the first installment of a series I write about my own grief journey.
Grieving Part 1_The Early Days
Please visit my website at:
www.WhiteElephantWisdom.com
So don't pretend my children never existed....
If you really want to do something special for me, include me in your discussions...ask me about my own children. I'd love to swap stories with you! I know this makes most uncomfortable but by talking about it openly we begin to break down the wall of silence that has served as a barrier to keep childless mothers in a dark and lonely place on holidays like Mother's Day. Why not talk about this very large elephant in the room? Your acceptance of our loss actually serves to help us in our own healing. Sweeping things under the rug, ignoring and/or changing the subject only feeds the darker emotions like sorrow and loneliness so please, offer light this year to a childless mother....celebrate their motherhood right along with you and your other girlfriends.
Blessings,
Vicky
*** For more of 'my story' click HERE
>> Click below to read the first installment of a series I write about my own grief journey.
Grieving Part 1_The Early Days
Please visit my website at:
www.WhiteElephantWisdom.com
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