Those of us fortunate enough to live in New England recognize the month of October as the most bright and colorful time of year with brilliant displays of fall foliage all around us. But even though we are surrounded by such spectacular natural beauty, some of us may find ourselves experiencing "grey" moods. I am one of those people.
I've always experienced a dip in my moods during this time of year. I seem to miss my kids more. I suppose the fact that my daughter died from cancer in October has something to do with it. But then again, I can recall having bouts of grief over my son's suicide during this time as well, long before his sister followed him to the other side. It would often feel like I was grieving the loss of the whole package.....the family life with the apple picking, fall baking and of course the fun we'd all have coming up with creative Halloween costumes. It seems inevitable that my grief would resurface every year as the temperatures start to dip and the leaves start to fall.
This photo kind of sums up how I might feel. I can see the fiery colors but they are far away and separated by this barrier of mud and rocks I must pass through first. Even so, when I gaze out past the seemingly obtrusive rock pile toward the opposite bank I become acutely aware of the opportunity that has presented itself to me. Once I pay attention to this, I understand that the "barrier" that has been placed before me is merely an invitation to slow down and just take in the scene from where I stand. When I do that, the reflection on the water becomes my focus and I understand that this is a good time to "go within"...or, spend some time in quiet self-reflection, something I don't always make time for, especially during the busy summer months.
Death is All Around Us
Last year my grey mood seemed to last the entire month and then some. Long about the 2nd week of November I started to take a look at what was going on in my life to see if I could tease out the reason why my darker moods were hanging on longer than usual. A very intuitive friend of mine offered her observation which I thought quite astute. Knowing that I was an empath, (Learn about empaths here ) she suggested that I might be picking up the "feeling of death" since we literally are surrounded by it during October each year in this part of the world. Plants and animals around us are either dying or going into a winter hibernation, (a symbolic death). In addition to the dying process taking place all around us in our natural world, many different cultures also honor their dead this time of year. There is a multi-day festival called "The Day of the Dead" which originated in Mexico, where loved ones make alters and bring the deceased's favorite foods to their graves in honor of those who have passed.
The ancient Celtic cultures from around the world celebrate October 31st as the day when the "veil" between our physical world and that of the dead thins and "ghosts" can come back and walk the earth. This festival coincides with the final harvests of the year, the shortening of our daylight hours and is where our own Halloween celebrations originated from. It is a time of gathering and stock-piling food and resources which will sustain us through the cold, seemingly barren winter months. Nature, herself, is going into hibernation......everything around us is "dying" until it's rebirth in the spring.
Adjusting Your Point of Focus
Now it makes perfect sense to me that I would experience dips in my moods this time of year. After all, not only do we have "the dead" walking the earth, but we are also watching as the natural world around us powers down in preparation for the long winter slumber. We get melancholy to see summer "pass away". But as all of these things are swirling around us, at some point most of us become focused on the blessings this time brings. We see the beauty in the dying process which shows itself to us in bright hues of red, yellow and orange. We marvel at these natural wonders but has it ever occurred to us that we are actually finding "beauty in death"? Could that be possible? As we lean further into the month, we begin to "let go" of our desire for the warmer months to hang around and begin to embrace all of our favorite things about fall. Even those of us who despise the cold weather begin to find things to look forward to that winter brings to our experience each year......at least those of us who surrender to the process do. Those who remain resistant to what is naturally unfolding around them will continue to find struggle in their experience. I find it's always best to try and "go with the flow" as they say. Follow Mother Nature's lead. So how does one go about doing this? What steps can we take to help improve our own moods and become more allowing and accepting of the natural flow of life all around us?
Using Natural Resources
I have learned many methods of raising one's energetic vibration and improving moods over the years, but I think one of the easiest and most effective ways is to spend time "connecting" with our natural world in some way. Mother Earth supports us in ways beyond what most of us can even comprehend.
So short of going out and hugging a tree (which I highly recommend!), how can we "connect with nature"? That's an easy one. All you have to do is step outside and start interacting with it...nature, that is. Interact with it by ENGAGING. How, exactly do you engage with nature? I can only share with you what that process looks like for me, in hopes that it will help you find your own special ways to interact.
The other day I decided to take one of my dogs for a long walk along our country road. I started by taking a moment to check in with myself. I made a mental note that I was feeling a bit anxious and was holding that feeling in my upper body. My jaw was clenched, my brow furrowed and my shoulders were practically up around my ears. Ok, so I am feeling anxious and stressed. I set an intention (THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART) to experience release of anxiety and stress by interacting with nature and so off I went for my walk.
For the first few minutes I spent time letting my mind wander and slowly I switched my attention to just sort of "noticing" what I was thinking about. (This is a common practice while learning to meditate. You learn to become "the watcher" as in, you are watching your thoughts go by without placing any judgments on them or yourself.....learn more about becoming THE WATCHER here)
This helps me to become aware of how stressful my current pattern of thoughts really is and allows me to begin to let those thoughts go.
Once I let some of my mind chatter go, I begin to engage with the natural world around me simply by using my senses.....and then allowing those senses to illicit feelings. So for instance, I use my eyes to take in the scene and also individual components of the scene that have attracted my attention. When I do this, I "reach for" an emotion....and the one I choose is appreciation. I feel APPRECIATION for this beauty I have at my fingertips to enjoy and for the gift of my eyesight to experience it. As this exchange plays out, I begin to notice the smells around me of fallen leaves beginning to decay and this sparks warm memories of my children when they were young, which brings with them feelings of love but also some sadness since they have both passed away. In this case, I consciously CHOOSE (If you haven't already done so, I suggest you read a previous blog about making choices....this is one of my main driving principals that I live by and you will see me refer to it often in my writings. Click HERE to read more) to discard the sadness and focus on the memories that allow me to feel LOVE.
Finding the Gifts
The other day I decided to take one of my dogs for a long walk along our country road. I started by taking a moment to check in with myself. I made a mental note that I was feeling a bit anxious and was holding that feeling in my upper body. My jaw was clenched, my brow furrowed and my shoulders were practically up around my ears. Ok, so I am feeling anxious and stressed. I set an intention (THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART) to experience release of anxiety and stress by interacting with nature and so off I went for my walk.
For the first few minutes I spent time letting my mind wander and slowly I switched my attention to just sort of "noticing" what I was thinking about. (This is a common practice while learning to meditate. You learn to become "the watcher" as in, you are watching your thoughts go by without placing any judgments on them or yourself.....learn more about becoming THE WATCHER here)
This helps me to become aware of how stressful my current pattern of thoughts really is and allows me to begin to let those thoughts go.
Once I let some of my mind chatter go, I begin to engage with the natural world around me simply by using my senses.....and then allowing those senses to illicit feelings. So for instance, I use my eyes to take in the scene and also individual components of the scene that have attracted my attention. When I do this, I "reach for" an emotion....and the one I choose is appreciation. I feel APPRECIATION for this beauty I have at my fingertips to enjoy and for the gift of my eyesight to experience it. As this exchange plays out, I begin to notice the smells around me of fallen leaves beginning to decay and this sparks warm memories of my children when they were young, which brings with them feelings of love but also some sadness since they have both passed away. In this case, I consciously CHOOSE (If you haven't already done so, I suggest you read a previous blog about making choices....this is one of my main driving principals that I live by and you will see me refer to it often in my writings. Click HERE to read more) to discard the sadness and focus on the memories that allow me to feel LOVE.
Finding the Gifts
As I walk along going through my senses and allowing more and more memories and emotions to rise to the surface, I begin to notice that I am feeling more relaxed and peaceful. Before finishing up and heading back inside I take a moment to check in with myself again and compare how I feel now against how I felt before the walk. I had already noticed that my thoughts were more peaceful and now notice that my face has relaxed, the jaw muscles have loosened. I make note that I am no longer holding tension in my shoulders. I understand that I have just been given a "gift" here.....that with just a small effort on my part (by setting the intention to allow the walk to calm me), the natural world around me has provided useful tools to help me do just that.
Now it's true that not all of us have the opportunity to walk along a dirt road like I do. Some of you might have physical disabilities that prevent you from going outside and using all of your senses but this does not mean you cannot have experiences just as powerful as mine. The important part is the intention.....just set an intention to use what you DO have. Even someone completely bedridden can interact with nature by having someone open a window near them so they can smell the fresh air and feel the soft breeze play against their skin. A blind person can get just as much benefit from listening to a river rush by or feel the warm sun on their face. At the end of the day, it is up to YOU as an individual to be willing to find the gifts that Mother Nature has brought to your doorstep. Find the gifts, accept them, offer gratitude and know that they will be there for you next time you need them.
Vicky
Please check out my website at www.whiteelephantwisdom.com
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