Grief and Our Pets

Grief and Our Pets

by Vicky Edgerly

     I had to say goodbye to my dog recently.  His name was Jangles and he was the youngest of 3 Labs that my late-husband and I raised together.  My 'Baby Boy'.  I cradled his sweet face in my lap and whispered words of love and gratitude into his ears as the drugs sent him off to sleep.  You would think that after burying both of my children and my husband, losing a pet would be inconsequential to me...but it isn't.  It isn't at all.

     I have a vivid memory of a woman grieving her deceased dog that used to spark a lot of anger in me. You see, my own son had taken his life at the tender age of 18 just a few weeks before, when a women I worked with announced the death of her beloved dog of some 15 years over the weekend.  This was during a time in my own journey where the grief over my son's suicide was still very much in the driver's seat.  I prided myself on how far I had come because I could go to the office and hold it together for the required eight hour day (although the floodgates would burst open as soon as I pushed through the exit doors at days end and hot, wet tears would be pouring down my face and bouncing off my shoes by the time I reached my car).

     The bereaved Dog Mommy was having a rough time with her own loss.  Her emotional state would periodically require her to get up and abandon her desk to go sit in the lunch room until she could get her tears under control.  This left me to handle her job of answering incoming calls, which seemed like an extreme hardship for me at the time as my still traumatized brain struggled to function properly in the workplace.

     My anger toward this woman, and others like her was very real and demanded my attention.  How dare these people compare the grief they feel over a deceased pet to that of a mother who has buried a child or a young widow who has had to say goodbye to the man she thought she'd spend her life with?  Really?

"That grieving dog Mom, as it turned out, had lived a life full of abuse, neglect and abandonment." 

Things Could Always Be Worse!

   

     I've heard all the hype over Mercury Retrograde for years now but I never seem to be affected in any adverse way by it so I was not at all concerned about this one even though people I know are all saying it's a particularly challenging time for them. I didn't let it bother me and simply went about my business as usual, not worried at all about any mishaps that might result.

      I went out shopping for a new bathing suit, not an easy task in northern New England in March as most shops do not have any on the sales floor yet.  I had been looking for a couple of weeks now at various local stores to no avail.  The struggle is real I tell you!

     I finally found a store that had an entire section of this years suits all on display with an incredible array of styles and sizes.  I had hit the motherload!  I picked out 8 suits, the maximum number allowed in the dressing room at one time, and closed myself in the little booth that I was led to by the cheery sales clerk.  You know, the ones with the really horrible (realistic?) mirrors?

     I lined up my colorful selection of swimsuits and began to disrobe.  I placed my purse on the bench-seat provided and gently laid my eye glasses on top of it.  Have you ever experienced an intuitive 'warning' about something?  Well I got one of those when I placed my brand new, $400 pair of prescription eye glasses on top of that purse. I KNEW it was a bad idea but I ignored that little voice and simply set an intention to be super careful not to let anything happen to them.

     After trying on 7 of the 8 suits I was striking out and starting to get discouraged.   But, as luck would have it, the very last one I tried on was a keeper!  I felt like Cinderella when she was able to slip her foot into the perfectly fitting glass slipper at the last minute before the Prince gave up on his quest to find his love. (Humor me...as I said, the struggle is real!)

     I was so excited over my success that I began to hurry and get dressed lest this suit turn back into a pumpkin before I could purchase it and get it out of the store.  My elated joy was quickly replaced with horrible dread at the sound of a loud POP when I sat on the bench to put my shoes on.