My Trip to the Emerald Isle.....A Journey of the Soul

    ***This was originally written in September of 2016...just a few weeks after my return from Ireland.  I never published it at the time as I wanted to keep it all to myself for a while. But now that the one year anniversary of the trip has arrived, I feel it's time to share the story.
So fix a cuppa' and pull up a chair....hope you enjoy the ride!
Many Blessings,
Vicky

     Many have asked if there would be a blog post about my Mystical Trip to Ireland and so I have this to share with you.  I must warn you, though, that this is a RIDICULOUSLY LONG post so enter at your own risk. So many magical things happened for me during that 10 day adventure that I scarcely know where to start.....

THE BACKSTORY
     At 54 years old I had suddenly found myself at a "jumping point" in life.  Most are familiar with reaching a "cross road", where you can choose a specific path to travel, each resulting in a unique experience for you, but a jumping point, or I guess you could also call it a "launching point" is much different.  This is when all things in your past seem to align ever so perfectly to bring you to THIS specific moment where you are presented with the opportunity to simply launch into a brand new life.  A life that seems to have chosen you from the beginning and has called to you all along the way and whose voice will no longer be denied. This window of opportunity came to me in the summer of 2016.  I answered the call by quitting my job and taking myself on a ten-day, self-guided tour of Ireland, the beautiful Emerald Isle.

"I had been going through a period of "re-inventing" myself during the years following my husband's death, and I couldn't help but feel like this trip was to bring that process to completion in some way"

     There are so many stories involving synchronicity that led me to choose Ireland in the first place that I could write another blog about that process alone, but let me just say that right from the start I recognized this trip as a true Journey of the Soul. I just knew that it would serve me in many ways.  I had been going through a period of "re-inventing" myself during the years following my husband's death, and I couldn't help but feel like this trip was to bring that process to completion in some way for me.  I understood, before I even got on the plane, that I would be collecting pieces of myself that I had lost or misplaced during the last 35 years of caring for others and putting their needs before my own. I instinctively knew that I would gain immense knowledge about myself and claim some, until now, "untapped power" and that I would also find out what I was made of.  While most people my age were dreaming about slowing down and buying that RV or retirement home, I was feeling like I was just getting started and was on the brink of something wonderful and exciting!  I was not to be disappointed. 

     I started planning the trip in November of 2015, at which time I was still employed full time with a dream of retiring and down-sizing in another 3 years so I could pursue my love for teaching others what I have learned along my path to date, things that seem to bring people a great deal of comfort.  It would seem, that experiencing the deaths of both of my children and my husband has propelled me along a very arduous at times, path of self discovery and soul growth.  I feel called to share what I've learned along the way with others who are trying to navigate lives that can be difficult at times and feel especially drawn to help people who are grieving the loss of a loved one.

    Winter of 2015-2016 was a dark and difficult time for me in that I became confused and unsure of my path and what it all meant and what direction it was leading me in.  I became fearful and insecure and almost depressed at times as those feelings were holding me in a place of lower vibration.  Some would call this "The Dark Days of the Soul" as my very faith was being shaken and tested it seemed.  Even after doing this kind of self-work and spiritual study for over 14 years now, I still have periods of time where I find myself sinking back down into the darkness of a life without drive and purpose. As you will often hear me say, it all comes down to the CHOICES we make and so I, once again, made the conscious decision to become more engaged in the process that was unfolding in my life and to create a shift that will help me move up and out of this lower vibration that I found myself in.....and that was why I decided to embark on this Irish Adventure.

YIELDING TO THE UNIVERSE
     I spent all winter day dreaming about my trip and telling people about my plans.  I always received two distinct reactions from the people I told.  Either they were super excited for me and made comments about how inspiring it was to them to watch me follow my dream, or they came at me from a place of fear and tried to convince me that it was not a safe thing for a woman of my age to be doing by herself....traveling alone in a foreign country. (Gee....It's IRELAND not Afghanistan)  That was 'OK' though because these interactions served purposes for me too.  The positive comments of course shored me up and drove me on when I, myself, began to doubt the sanity of what I was doing and the negative comments offered me opportunity to witness just how much fear still exists in most people's lives.  This is something I feel moved to help people overcome so I forged ahead and booked the flight....with no cancellation insurance. There....to back out now would cost me... I would lose my plane fare and I wasn't about to let that happen!

"the Universe had conspired to create circumstances in my life that forced me to re-evaluate my plans"

Victim or Survivor....your choice?

     So many people have asked me the same question over the years, "How do you do it? How do you survive such things and yet remain sane and happy?"  I have to say that honestly, it comes down to "choice".  I can remember thinking very soon after hearing the news that my son had taken his own life back in 2002, "I will survive this...I will not let this destroy me."  I think that was a pivotal moment in my journey....one where I consciously chose to be a survivor rather than a victim. That's not to say that simply deciding to survive will prevent you from having to walk through the pain and grief involved, but I feel that it does set the stage for the type of experience you will have.

     We all know people who seem to look at life from the "glass is half empty" view point, and we can clearly see how that creates needless struggle in their lives. But how many of us really take inventory of our own prevailing thoughts and beliefs about our own life and experiences? More and more people are beginning to really understand that we, as individuals, can control and shape our own experiences simply by starting with conscious thought and intention. I'm sure most of you have run across the following legend somewhere in your travels but it is so beautifully and simply stated, that it bears repeating. I am talking about the old Cherokee Legend about Two Wolves that goes like this:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

    It really does come down to conscious thought and intention. If you look inside yourself and you notice that your thoughts seem to reside in the world of the Dark Wolf, then simply make a conscious decision to change.  Simply DECIDING to change creates the shift you need to get started. Then it is just a learning process like any other.  The more you practice, the better you will become.  If it seems too daunting for you then just start small.  Pick one area of your life where you feel encumbered by your thoughts or belief system and work on that first.  Simply "notice" the next time you are thinking less than pleasant thoughts about yourself or the situation you find yourself in and reach for a better thought.  The more you do this, the easier it becomes and before you know it, the "old thoughts" are replaced by your new, more empowering thoughts. It is the new, empowering thoughts that will create change in your experience. Don't put time pressures on yourself or any other judgment....this is a personal process that is different for every one.  Just keep at it and don't give up!  

     My grand daughter came to me yesterday to show me a portrait of a friend she had just finished drawing.  It was done really well and showed a skill level I had not seen in her work before.  When I asked her about this she said,  "Well I realized that every time I started a new art project, my self-talk running in the background of my mind contained phrases like, 'I can't draw very well'......or  'I'll never be a good artist'.   Once I noticed this I started replacing my negative thoughts with positive ones like, 'I am really good at this' and 'the more I practice, the better I get' and I suddenly started drawing better!"

     This is one simple victory for her, but what is more important here is her decision to become more engaged in her own life....to actually stand up and take responsibility for her own experience.  By doing this, she has chosen to be a survivor.  She has chosen to believe that she can change her experience by changing her thought patterns.  Take a moment to look at the picture at the top of this blog again....the one of the staircase.  Really gaze at it for a moment and let the photo draw you in.  Now check in with yourself.  What sort of feelings and/or thoughts does this photo provoke in you?  Did you feel like you were standing at the top of the stairs looking down as if you were about to tumble into the abyss?  Or did it make you feel like you had just succeeded in climbing up and out of the darkness below? 

Victim or Survivor?  Which one will YOU choose?

Blessings,
Vicky

Please check out my website at www.whiteelephantwisdom.com