Friday, June 22, 2018

Surviving the Storm - Singing My Truth After Multiple Loss

Greetings All,
I've been waiting WEEKS to finally be able to sit down and write this post to share with all of you as it is serving as a grand announcement and debut, if you will, for my latest creative endeavors.  I've written a song! Yes, indeed, one morning while in the shower this catchy little verse with tune just popped into my head and I found myself singing it out loud...(using a very bad Irish accent I might add)!  So, apparently I am a singer/songwriter.  Who knew???

From Conception to Manifestation:

     If you look all around you and focus your attention on ANYTHING in your existence, and I do mean anything at all, and ponder where it came from and how it came into being, you will discover that it all started with a single THOUGHT. Everything that has ever been created by Man has started with one single thought.  Think about that for a moment and you will realize just how powerful our thoughts actually are!

     In this case, the song I am about to share with you started, for me, while in the shower one morning.  Showering is a wonderful opportunity to step out of our busy lives and into an almost meditative state of just BEING.  We can use this time to just BE while we ceremoniously cleanse our physical bodies.  If we give it some thought before stepping in, we can set an intention to actually use this time to slough off any worries and anxieties we have as well as soothe some of our aches and pains with the lulling effect of the hot water raining down on us.  By doing this, we can open our own channels of creativity.  How many of you occasionally sing in the shower?  It's quite common...congratulate yourselves for you are experiencing your own Soul's creative side when you are doing that.  You are ALLOWING that playful side of yourself the freedom of expression it craves.  BRAVO!

 Well, I am not one who normally sings in the shower (I do all my singing while driving alone in my car....where no one else can hear me!), but that morning, I suddenly found myself saying the words, "I will survive and that's all that's required".  I thought it odd but decided to give myself over to it and see where it would go.  Within one or two minutes of this I was repeating all the lines that would eventually become the chorus to my very first original song, "Surviving the Storm".

     So I 'thought'  "Hmm...apparently I am writing a poem.  Cool!"  (Again, NOT a poet, nor have I ever had any desire to become one!)  Within the next couple of minutes, a tune started to emerge so that I was actually SINGING my little poem instead of just reciting it.

     I sang that little verse over and over until I could get out of the shower and record it on my phone, not wanting to lose it as I felt it was somehow important. Never in my wildest dreams did it ever occur to me that it would become a song....MY song!

     As it happens, I had recently met and had been working with a lovely woman, by the name of Barbara Hughes, who has become one of my dearest friends.  She wears many hats professionally and is very artistic by nature.  She also happens to be a very talented singer, songwriter and musician.  I felt compelled to share my hilarious voice recording with her but was not prepared for her reaction.  "You've been holding out on me can sing!"

     At this point in time, I still have a bit of trouble 'believing' I can sing.  But what I do believe is that this song was begging to be written and produced.  Once I allowed that statement to sink in, the rest of the lyrics dropped in within 36 hours.  I never sat down and 'tried' to write it.  I'd just be doing dishes or some other mindless task when I would suddenly be thinking of a line or two.  I'd dry my hands, write it down and go back to what I was doing.  Once it was all on paper, I sent it to Barbara who offered to help compose the music for the rest of the song. (If you recall, I had recorded only the chorus and the tune that came in the shower).

     I have to say, that this was truly something born of "Spirit" since it was never my intention to create it.  It simply came THROUGH me....effortlessly and actually, against my own will!  I continued to resist the process when I asked my friend if she would sing it for me and she announced that I would have to sing it myself.  HA!  I agreed as I knew, from watching her all these months, that creating and recording this song and then sharing it with all of you would actually facilitate much healing and Spiritual growth for myself and also for alot of folks who hear it and resonate with it along the way.  So I dove in...wobbly knees and all!

The Song

     I'd like to offer my own thoughts on what this song is in, what it actually means to me, the message behind it if you will.  I think every recording artist has a bit of their own soul woven into their music and we, the listeners tend to apply our own 'meanings' to songs based on the feelings they evoke in each of us, as if the singer was able to reach into our own minds and Souls for inspiration.

     I am going to share my own story behind the lyrics but am also hoping that others will see themselves and their own stories blended in among the verses here and I would dearly love to hear your thoughts via comments to this blog or by emailing me directly.  After all, one of the biggest messages written into this piece is the connection all human beings have with one another.  So if YOU feel a connection, reach out! (contact info listed below)

Surviving the Storm by Vicky Edgerly

How can I say goodbye when you are still here?
When my heart reaches out you always draw near.

How can I face this emptiness over the years,
when the truth they feed me produces only more tears?

I will survive and that's all that's required.
I will survive and that's all that's required.

When the storm hits I will reach out for you.
As the storm passes I will build something new.

They'd have me believe, that you ceased to exist.
What loving God would cast me into such an abyss?

I know the truth, that the Soul lives on.
I know that truth, that we are all one.

I will survive and that's all that's required.
I will survive and that's all that's required.

When the storm hits I will reach out for you.
As the storm passes I will build something new.

I feel blind and alone, as this storm rages on.
Why can't they all see, that you are not gone?

Every storm will be different.
Please wont you toss me a rope?

While I tend to be hopeful, 
others can't seem to cope.

I long for the day when others will see,
that when they heal themselves
they also heal me.

...that when they heal themselves, 
they also heal me.

Please wont you heal yourself
and help me heal me...


    Singing My Truth...

     I'm singing about my own personal experience with grief and loss.  I am singing about how having a strong belief in the continued existence of the Soul after death, both helped to ease my pain  and also created a longing that was, at times difficult to bear.

     I'm singing about how 'other's' such as various religious teachings and judgments passed by community members and society in general kept me from talking openly about my continued relationship with my 'lost' loved ones through after death communications for fear of being labeled as delusional.

     I'm singing about how our deceased loved ones are right here with us, waiting and wanting to help us through the difficult times that the grief journey brings, if we would only reach out for them.

     I'm singing about how we cannot ever have our 'old lives' back but, with their help and guidance from 'The Other Side', can build brand new lives for ourselves if only we would surrender to the process.

     I'm singing about my empathy and compassion for those who cannot seem to ever recover from personal loss and deep grief, I wish I could loan them some of my own 'hopefulness'. 

     I'm singing about my longing for others to see these 'truths' and use them to understand the connection we all have with one another.  

     I'm singing about my passion to help folks understand these concepts so that they, too, will begin to seek healing for themselves since I understand that everything they do to create peace and healing within themselves also helps me and every other being on the planet.

     I'm singing MY story.... I'm singing MY truth.

The Video

Created by Navid Namazi of Metamorphosis Media

     Once started, this creative project seemed to just take on a life of it's own.  I never intended to write a song..but here it is.  I never intended to record the song...but I did.  (Boy was that a lesson in facing fear and exposing vulnerability!)  And I certainly never intended to actually create a video for this, my very first attempt at singing and song writing it is!

    The day the recording studio sent me the mixed and mastered version of my little song, I was gearing up to fly to Ireland for a much anticipated vacation with my grand daughter, Sky.  This was to be her high school graduation gift and we started planning it as soon as I returned from my very first trip to Ireland back in August of 2016.  That trip was so magical for me and came at such a pivotal time of my life that I was looking for any excuse to plan a return trip to the Emerald Isle. 

     I thought the completion of the song was pretty timely and that creating a video for it with real life footage from the magical shores of Ireland was a fantastic idea.  And how very appropriate given the subject matter of the lyrics, my own 'message' behind the words, and the fact that Sky and I had planned on bringing prayer cards for her mom (my daughter), my son and my husband to leave as a memorial at St. Brigid's Well in Co. Clare while we were there.

     So you will see some footage at the beginning of the video of me actually placing the prayer cards for both of my kids at St Brigid's Well, Sky lighting a candle for her Mom at the Kylemore Abbey Church, and several other small clips scattered throughout.  Navid, the cinematographer I worked with on this, and I chose other appropriate stock footage from the web to finish out the visual effects we were going for.
     If recording vocals at a studio by myself with zero singing experience wasn't scary enough, I also decided that showing myself, personally in this publicly shared video was required to nail home the authenticity of the rawness of the experience and to honor and congratulate myself for having the guts to take it all on in the face of all the fears the whole process presented to me. 

     So there you have it, and thanks for sticking with me while I wove my tale and not skipping this post just to get to the video!  I hope you enjoy it, but more importantly, I hope you FEEL it on some level.  I would be honored if you would share it when ever you feel compelled to do so, with or without the blog post.  And for those who are number TWO is now in production with song number THREE nipping at my heels!  Who Knew???

     So here we turning back now!  Drum roll please....

Much love and gratitude,

Contact Info:

Vicky Edgerly
White Elephant Wisdom LLC


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